Are you a Moron Driver?

 Vol 14, Issue 51 (Leduc-Wetaskiwin Pipestone Flyer)

            Driving to work just before our Christmas break I got to see lots of  wildlife out roaming around. Now I am not talking about the four legged variety, rather the two legged kind. It seems you get some blowing and drifting snow and everyone forgets how to drive.  I have always called this breed of animal the moron driver. The moron driver is a selective animal where you never know where they are going to happen across your path. Things like driving for the conditions, slowing down, common courtesy and obeying the rules of the road  go right out the window. 

    So to make sure you are not a member of this group here is a short multiple choice quiz to determine if you are part of the moron driving crowd.
1. You are driving too fast on glare ice and the driver ahead of you is not, what do you do:
a.) This never applies to you because you always drive for the conditions.
b.) Get up right behind the person flashing your lights, tailgating while screaming at them in French and flipping them the bird.
c.) Start tailgating while you don a Zulu warrior mask while waving a miniature spear motioning them to pull over.
The correct answer is a.
2. While driving too fast for the conditions you hit the ditch, what should you do next:
a.) This would never apply to you because you always drive for the conditions and if you did hit the ditch you would get out your emergency vehicle kit and call for help.
b.) Get out of the car and start running around the vehicle with your arms in the air, kicking the tires and screaming “why me.”
c.) After hitting the ditch you hunker down for the long haul by starting a fire, building an igloo and start talking to a volleyball named Wilson.
The correct answer is a. 
3. While driving and talking on your cell phone, along with watching a movie on a portable DVD player, the traffic light  has just turned yellow and you are going too fast to stop, what do you do:
a.)This would never apply to you because you always drive for the conditions and would never do anything so dangerous or illegal.
b.) After you crash the car tell the police you had to return the movie you rented back but did not have time to watch it so that is why you were watching it while driving.
c.)  After you crash the car you grab the DVD player and make a run for it while beating yourself in the head with the unit and stripping off all your clothes. You can say to the police after they arrest you, the DVD was possessed and told you to drive like the devil.
The correct answer is a.
    If you answered anything other than (a) for any of the questions you need to re-examine your driving skills and you might need some psychological help also. All kidding aside, if you have any questions about driving, go on the internet and check out the driving manual put out by the government, or call a driving school and take some lessons. There is no excuse for dangerous driving.
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