Goodbye Monarchy

Vol. 15, Issue 4, The Leduc-Wetaskiwin Pipestone Flyer

As the date of the royal wedding gets closer for Prince William and Kate Middleton I have to wonder why we still have such a big fascination with the Royal Family. I know Canada was a former British Colony, that gracefully succeeded from England  as opposed to the United States that did it through revolution, but why as an independent country is our head of state still tied to the Queen?

I mean there will always be the people who will watch the Royal Family and all that goes with  it but as a country I think it is time to break the ties. What would be wrong with having a Canadian head of state instead of the Queen. I think moving Canada towards being closer to that of a Republic instead of a Monarchy system would show maturity as a country.

One thing I think would be a good idea would be to rename all our holidays that have ties to Britain. The first one gone would be Victoria Day. It should be renamed after our first Prime Minister, Sir John A. Macdonald. To make it unique maybe we should name it after aspects of his personalty. Macdonald apparently liked to drink, so maybe we could call it “Big Mac's Drunk Day.” No, maybe not, that might offend the fast food chain, and for the record Sir John A. had nothing to do with the chain, did not start it, never worked there and the Quarter Pounder is not named after him. So I suppose “Puked on a Podium Day” would not work either. 

The second holiday that needs renaming is Boxing Day. First off I am not opposed to having any day that promotes the sport, but I am told Boxing Day has nothing to do with boxing so why did we name it that anyways? I mean I have seen footage from the boxing days sales on the news and some of those people have done more than box.  I have seen UFC matches that were less brutal. Throw together a half price dress sale with people tanked up on turkey and you are asking for trouble.

I looked on the web and got a variety of explanations and the only conclusion I came to is that it does have ties to England. So I guess changing the name to Wrestling Day would defeat the purpose of this exercise and I don't want to celebrate a day that has anything to do with Hulk Hogan so maybe we should name Boxing Day after Brian Mulroney. We could call it “Big Chin Weasel Day.” That does roll off the tongue though. We could name it after John Turner but then the holiday could only go for three hours to reflect how long he was PM. Naming it after Joe Clark would be out because the holiday would only go nine hours. Trudeau would work for the east but the west would not like that and want to call it “Screw You Day.” That probably would not work being Christmas is the day before the holiday. Maybe we should just leave it alone.

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