What's going on Down Under?

Vol 15, Issue 8, Leduc - Wetaskiwin Pipestone Flyer

My brother recently returned from a trip to Australia and had some disturbing news for me. Now if this had been one of my friends, I would have expected to have been told they had tried to marry a Kangaroo while Down Under, or was caught french-kissing a Wallaby.

Now  before I get too far down this road let me relate some personal information. I currently have two roommates of the furry kind. Shelby, who is a almost pure-breed Australian Cattle Dog and Dynasty, an Australian Cattle Dog- Shetland Sheepdog mix. Now here in Canada we sometimes refer to them as Blue or Red Heelers and they were bred to herd cattle long distances in the out-back. They have a little Dingo, Dalmatian and Kelpie and some other breeds mixed in. They are highly intelligent working dogs that like to herd things and can nip at your heels if they are allowed.

So my brother comes back from his trip and drops a bombshell on me; that after spending almost two weeks Down Under, he did not see one Australian Cattle Dog. Apparently according to my brother he did not see many dogs on his trip at all. I was flabbergasted. How can the country of Australia, not have one Cattle Dog on display? Oh sure there were lots of Kangaroos, Koala Bears, Wallabies around but when it came to canines, there were not many around.

What is wrong with these people? You take a dog, name it after the continent and then don't have any on display? This would be like not handing out Klondike Bars at the Yellowknife airport, or going to a fire station and there is no Dalmatian around. What is wrong with society? If I walk into a year round Christmas store there must be Christmas music playing. Of course you might need a psychologist on speed dial for the staff but that is the price you pay. Isn't that like walking in a place called Chuck's Chicken Wings and find out they only serve pasta? Lunacy.

I am tempted to write a letter to the Australian Ambassador in Ottawa to protesting this blatant slap in the face but I fear I will not be taken seriously.

Of course this comes from a country that is a day ahead. Who invented this international date line anyways? If it is three pm here it should be three pm everywhere. I don't care that it is probably pitch black in Russia and half the world would be living in darkness during their waking hours but that is not my problem.

Okay, for the record, I am kidding about almost everything written here. I love everything Australian and this is by no means a slam against them. The key word here is “humour column.” 

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