Life's Doorway

A Matter Of Fact

Facts are facts. Results are also facts. They tell us the final outcome of some amount effort we’ve exerted. 

For instance, I’ve been expending an exorbitant amount of energy in not eating all of the Christmas goodies that have been coming my way. And yet, my results tell me that I haven’t lost any weight.

My scale must be broken. I probably gained muscle.

The gravitational pull of the Earth has somehow been influenced, like global warming.

Sure, it’s nice to think that my results aren’t my results, but that is a complete lie. And it’s not very helpful. But it’s easy.

It’s much easier to tell myself that my thyroid might be out, that it’s been awhile since I’ve had it checked, and I might want to think about doing that again. It’s much easier to believe that my portion sizes are small enough to keep me at a caloric deficit, when in fact I’m totally aware that I eat more than I need to. 

I really enjoy eating and so I hope desperately for any other explanation – even if it means sabotaging myself. So I go on pretending that my results aren’t my results.

But then there’s Google… and fitness tracking apps… and a whole world of factual information at our finger tips, twenty-four hours a day. 

A simple Google search shows me that I don’t have any of the other risk factors or symptoms associated with an underactive thyroid. And a day or two doing proper calorie tracking will reveal what I secretly know but don’t want to admit: despite my healthy food choices, I’m still eating too many calories. 

It’s hard to argue with facts, but we all seem to be doing it!

We lie and cover for one another with niceties. “Oh, but you’ve lost inches, surely!” or, “You’re probably gaining muscle.” Sadly, I’ve looked that one up to. There’s rarely ever a case that a woman not doing an extraordinary amount of strength training could gain as much muscle (by weight) as the amount of fat she’d be losing. It’s highly unlikely. But I do so appreciate the sentiment!

We speak these niceties to placate one another, probably because we also want to be placated. It’s much easier to make an excuse rather than to make a change. 

But niceties – or white lies – really aren’t very helpful. They should be carefully weighed against the damage done by staying stuck.

These types of white lies make us victims of our circumstances. When I refuse to admit my part in any trouble I have – whether it be weight loss, trying for a promotion at work, unsuccessful dating, or any other endeavor – the trap is that I am tempted to sit back and tell myself there’s nothing I can do to change it. 

“No matter how hard I try, I just can’t lose weight.” It’s basically the same as saying, “I’m only willing to do certain actions (like cut out treat foods) but not others (like limit calories in total).” 

Let’s take another example: online dating. Before last year, I told myself this lie, “It’s impossible to meet single, compatible guys.” But I was pretty closed off to certain ideas, like online dating. What I was really saying was, “I’m only willing to meet someone under such-and-such circumstances, but not others.” 

I was basically more concerned about how I wanted to meet my significant other, than actually fulfilling the dream of meeting him at all!

Looking at life from this fact-based approach really helps to put one’s priorities in line. If you’re not happy with some results in your life, look at the truth behind those results. After all, “The truth will set you free.”

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