Life's Doorway

Love Letters

Dear {insert your name here},

    Although it's been some time since we've had an intimate conversation - ok, so we've never had one - let me break the years of awkward silence to tell you something important.  You might not like what I have to say and you may not agree with me, but hear me out.  Imagine for a moment that what I have to say is true.  Just put all doubt aside.  This will be an experiment of sorts.  
    But it might require you to suspend your illusion of disbelief.  Come on, you can do it!  It's just like when you go to a Disney or Pixar movie with your kid, and you end up getting all chocked up when Wall-E almost doesn't reboot.  You know the dang robot hasn't been born yet - and by 'born',  I of course mean 'built'.  And you know, in the back of your mind, that children's movie makers couldn't possibly be that unkind as to let him die… I mean - nope, 'die' is correct.  But for that split second, your heart leapt a wee bit.  
    Well, pretend with me now that what I am about to confess to you is true.

You are loved.

    I'm pretending right now, as I sit at home alone, feeling lonelier than I have in quite some time.  But I know that feelings and truths often aren't the same.
    You are loved more than you will ever know.  
    If you were to suddenly disappear, like get crushed by a house for instance, people would notice.  And yes, perhaps some might cheer, but probably not a whole town, like in the Wizard of Oz.  Even the Wicked Witch of the East had her grieving sister, the Wicked Witch of the West to mourn her loss.  And she was apparently pretty terrible, like, not-apropriate-for-a-children's-tale terrible.
    No, you've got some incredibly redeeming qualities that make you loveable.  And people know it.  People see you and think things like: "Whoa, he looks like a cool dude, like he's confident and suave" or "She's gorgeous and talented and kind and faithful."  (Yeah, I get that one a lot.)  
    Oh, but here's the crux.  I never used to hear that from others.  No way!  Rarely did the people who thought these things come and say them to me.  And rarely did I tell them.  It's the secret code of humanity: if we don't talk about our feelings, it's like they don't exist.
    Except that they still do, and we thrive off of our feelings.  Telling someone what we appreciate in them can fuel them for hours, days, months even.  It's a magical source of energy that drives the whole world forward, but sadly can also drive the whole world down.  It's like a real-life fairytale at play in the wold.
    In my experience, it's best to believe in yourself and to gain strength from something no one can ever take away from you.  If you put your strength in your spouse, they may die before you, or possibly leave you.  If you put all of your power into your job, what happens if you lose that job?
    But when your power comes from God, or from an unshakable belief in the goodness of people, or from something else immutable, no one can ever shake your foundation.  You will always have what it takes to conquer.
    Now, I'll admit that getting to that point is difficult, at best.  But it can come.  And it does, when a person starts to experience enough love and affirmation through their friends, family, teachers and mentors, bosses, even through strangers.  As you hear one lovely thing about you, as you get good feedback on a job well-done, the love starts to permeate.  The good side starts to win.
        Oh, you can block it out and ignore it, sure.  You can say that people are manipulative and only tell you nice things in order to trap you, as with a poisoned apple.  But even a terrible motive behind a true statement doesn't make it any less true.  Take the love and leave the poison.  You can do that; it's an option! (Brilliant, hey?)
    Saying nice things is hard though. Nice words are bigger, heavier and tend to get stuck in your throat.  It's a fact.  If we say too many nice things, we run the risk of having our buddy think we're strange (which most of us are, let's admit, but we don't need him knowing that) and we also could potentially have to hug them at some point in future.  Awkward. 
    But not saying nice things can be even riskier.  Too many people take their lives, especially this time of year, because they don't know they are loved, that at least one other person on the planet sees them, knows them, likes them, believes in the good in them, and yes, loves them.
    But when you finally know that you are loved, you will have a super-power unrivaled by that in any comic or fairytale.




 
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