Being in the euphoric throes of patriotic fervor, I decided to forego my usual musings and jump the proverbial shark. (Okay, so Proverbs was notoriously short on shark stories). Rather than amuse, my aim is inform with Actual True Canadian Facts. To accomplish this daunting task of enlightenment for our esteemed readers, I have created a quiz that is guaranteed to separate real Canadians from the other seven billion wannabees on the planet. I’ve ensured the correct answers are factually actual and actually factual. I mean, jeepers, if you can’t trust the Internet, who can you trust?
Although it is an extremely challenging quiz, no doubt real, genuine Canadians
will realize what all the answers are, eh.
1. Who was Canada's first Prime Minister? (A) Sir John A. (B) Sloop John B. (C)
Sir Elton John (D) Captain John's Fish and Chips.
2. Who led the ill-fated Franklin Expedition? (A) Sir John Franklin (B) Sir
Benjamin Franklin (C) Sir Franklin Mint (D) Sir Franklin Delano Rooseveldt.
3. Canada was born (A) 1867 {B) 1776 (C) 1492 (D) Born... Born... Born to be
alive.
4. Canada's Senate is: (A) a chamber of sober, second thought (B) a chamber of somewhat inebriated, second thought (C) a chamber created as a drunken
afterthought (D) a dumb idea on second thought
5. What vehicle was invented in Canada? A) the Snowmobile (B) The Hupmobile (C)
The Popemobile (D) The Batmobile.
6. What superhero was created by a Canadian? (A) Superman (B) Captain America
(C) General Germany (D) Captain Crunch.
7. Canada’s first female Prime Minister was: (A) Kim Campbell (B) Cassie
Campbell (C) Naomi Campbell (D) Glen Campbell.
8. Canada's biggest export financially is: (A) crude oil (B) crude uranium (C)
crude hockey players D) crude humour.
9. Which one of these items was NOT invented in Canada? (A) bikini (B)
snowmobile C) snowblower (D) snowshoes.
10. Canada's federal leaders meet in the: (A) House of Commons (B) House of
Pancakes (C) House of Cards (D) House of Ill Repute.
11. The residence which Canada's Leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition lives in is called: (A) Stornaway (B) Loserville (C) the Mulcair Motel (D) a
"fixer-upper".
12. Canada's most famous sailing boat was a racing vessel called: (A) The
Bluenose (B) The Bluetooth (C) The Blue Notes (D) The Blues Brothers.
13. Which product is Canada's largest import from Russia? (A) fertilizer (B) pony pucks (C) horse feathers (D) Activists opposing the oilsands to help sell
Russian oil to Europeans.
14. Which rock band did NOT have at least one Canadian member? (A) The Beatles (B) Steppenwolf (C) The Lovin'
Spoonful (D) The Mommas and the Poppas.
15. Which wooden structure was unique to Canada's west coast First Nations
people? (A) totem pole (B) wigwam (C) community lodge (D) Haida bed.
16. The French-Canadian canoeists who traveled up and down the rivers of this land trading and transporting goods were called: (A) courier de bois (B)
fitness enthusiasts (C) portage-aholics (D) crazy.
17. Laura Secord was a famous (A) snow storm pedestrian (B) the inventor of chocolate (C) Olympic figure skating silver medalist (D) sign language
yodelling champion.
18. PEI's official provincial motto is (A) The small under the protection of the great. (B) The spud under the protection of the gravy. (C) Anne of Green
Gables house open weekdays 10:00 to 6:00 (D) The only island you can drive to.
19. Which essential part of the International Space Station was invented in
Canada? (A) the Canadarm (B) The Canadleg (C) the Canadankle (D) the CanaCanadian.
20. How do you get fifty Canadians out of a swimming pool? (A) You say, “Can everyone please get out of the swimming pool.” (B) Put the Stanley Cup playoffs on in the cafeteria. (C) Announce a big sale on curling rocks at Canadian Tire.
(D) Toss in a barbecued smokey.
21. Canada's Head of State is called: (A) a Prime Minister (B) a doofus (C) a President. (D) a Dictator for Life.
Okay, so, like, you don’t have to be, like, you know, Bob and Doug Mackenzie to ace this one, eh. All the correct answers were (A). There was even a hint! I suspect the question most will get wrong will be from picking (B) in question 21. The most important take-away in this serious quiz was that Canada, without any embellishment, has a rich and varied history well worth delving into. No matter how you did, I wish you a hearty, Happy Canada Day, eh!