Keep Robin Hood in the Bag

Pipestone Flyer

Vol 15, Issue 13, Leduc – Wetaskiwin Pipestone Flyer

 I have always maintained that I may not be the smartest baboon in the troop. Now when I say this I am not being degrading to myself, I know I have a level of intelligence that is probably on par with the rest of society. I have my moments of inspiration but there are times when I think I would give a zombie a run for its money for having dumb moments.

Take for example last week. I had taped the new Russell Crowe movie Robin Hood from Movie Central. Now I know a lot of people use the mighty internet to learn all they can about a movie before they see it but I sort of pick my movies like a fisherman. If the movie looks good or I have seen the trailer for it I set the PVR and at some point try to watch it. 

For some strange reason I am reminded about the old phone joke; where a prankster phones the grocery store and asks the clerk  if they have Robin Hood in a bag, and if the clerk answers yes than the prankster replies, “well you better let him out.” In the case of the new Robin Hood movie they should have kept this one in the bag. 

I have always been a big fan of the Errol Flynn film, The Adventurers of Robin Hood. So not knowing  what exactly the focus of the Russel Crowe movie was I threw a lot of verbal abuse at the film. So I will give you a sanitary version of that diatribe.

Here goes.

The first thing I found disturbing was no one was wearing tights. If Errol wore them in 1938 why is no one in this version wearing them. The set design was such that Crowe looked like he just walked straight off the Gladiator set.  Why it may be authentic for the twelfth century the costumes look nothing like the Flynn version.

The second thing that annoyed me was the Crowe film was filmed in the UK, while Flynn’s was done in California. What is wrong with filming English films in California? Some people seem to think films that are suppose to take place in England should be filmed there. Have these people never heard about Hollywood and how southern California can pass for the rest of the world? I don’t care that southern California looks nothing like England, it is the principle of the thing.

Another thing that I found strange was at the end of the film, in the big battle scene Maid Marian straps on the chain mail, grabs a sword and goes to fight side by side with Robin Hood. Now while I am not opposed to the concept of a strong woman character fighting along side the hero having Maid Marian fill the role made about as much sense as having The Littlest Hobo star in the stage version of Cats.

There was a reason you did not see Olivia de Havilland grabbing a sword and fighting with Robin Hood. Well consider the fact Flynn’s film was made in the late 1930’s and any idea of strong female characters would have gotten you laughed off the set, again it is the principle of the thing. Flynn was the hero, he could fight his own battles and still rescue the heroine. 

Now I had several more concerns and I hurled them at the screen, only to find out the concept was to have a film that showed how Robin Hood became the outlaw later in life. A fact that would have saved my TV screen at least 40 minutes of verbal abuse. Okay there is really nothing wrong with the Crowe film, but my vote will always stay with the Flynn film as my favourite.

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