Legistative lunacy that works

Pipestone Flyer

Vol 15. Issue 9, Leduc – Wetaskiwin Pipestone Flyer

It hit me the other day when I was stopped at a traffic light in Leduc. An older lady with white hair came up to my window and tried to sell me a membership for a candidate running for the nomination of a political party.

Okay for the record I was never approached at a traffic light by someone selling party memberships but that might be something to consider. Someone running up to your car stopped at a traffic light sends a message. If it is an older woman we would think either the person is in trouble or in need of help. If it is a younger person, especially a teenager it would be a whole different reaction.

It dawned on me when I was watching the news about the provincial budget and wondered why it is presented in such a drab and boring manner.  Lloyd Snelgrove is probably a competent minister but he is no Vanna White. Reading a speech from the floor of the Legislature is about as exciting as watching two monkeys picking fleas off each other. Presentation is everything, especially when you are delivering something as important as a provincial budget.

Would it have been too much to ask to get one of those pitch men from TV to read the speech? You know, one of those guys from late night TV that speaks real fast like a machine gun firing bullets.   Get them dressed up, in lets say a gorilla suit wearing, maybe a sandwich board. Make sure to throw in a line or two abut a half-price mix master for anyone that will be gouged by the new user fees and that would be classy.

Also find maybe an attractive female model to stand beside him gesturing like one of those woman from the Price is Right. Get the model dressed up in a suit of armor, like the kind you would find in an old English castle and you won’t want to miss a word of the presentation.

At the same time you could get Premier Ed Stelmach and the rest of the cabinet to eat lobster with, lets say chop sticks and you have something that could win an Emmy.

Throw in some dancing bears, a coupe clowns, the real kind and not the ones in the Opposition, and you would have a real barn burner of an event.

Since we are on the subject, everything done on the floor of the Legislature could use some improvement. Introducing paint ball guns during question period would really be a sight to see. Imagine Snelgrove trying to answer a question from the NDP while trying to dodge a barrage of paint balls coming at him. This would be more entertaining than an episode of Wipeout. 

Theme days would be something everybody would tune in too. It would run like a bad clip off YouTube. “See Premier Ed Stelmach, dressed as Jabba the Hut being questioned by NDP Leader Brian Mason dressed as the beloved Chewbacca.” 

Which would make sense, Mason does sound like a Wookie sometimes, and makes about as much sense. 

This would be a good idea, I do draw the line at the Legislature Swim Suit Edition. Yikes!

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