Second time grooms should have bachelor parties too

Men (and women) should be able to enjoy a bachelor or bachelorette party even if it’s not their first trip down the aisle.

Men (and women) should be able to enjoy a bachelor or bachelorette party even if it’s not their first trip down the aisle.

A week or two ago I was driving to work and heard over the radio two hosts debating that topic. The male host felt there was nothing wrong with his friend, who was getting married for the second time, wanting a bachelor party.

The female host seemed almost disgusted by the idea and said a bachelor party is just another excuse for men to party and gamble. She added if the groom wants to celebrate his love and upcoming matrimony he should just save it for the wedding, where his new blushing bride will also be.

According to Time magazine, some form of the bachelor party may date back to the fifth century and the actual term bachelor party first appeared in 1922 in Scotland.

While activities at bachelor parties may have changed over the years it still remains a steadfast tradition of an event that occurs before a wedding.

Because of pop culture, the term bachelor party dredges up images of Las Vegas, excessive drinking, drugs, gambling and fun with exotic dancers.

But that’s not the only thing men are into. I’ve had a few friends get married over the last few years and the groom’s bachelor parties ranged from meals at mid-grade restaurants and board games to golf getaways and small house parties.

Personally, I’ve never understood why some women have such an aversion to their men stepping inside such establishments, as long as they conduct themselves within the protocols of the location and do not behave in a manner that would be deemed inappropriate anywhere.

If women are afraid of their grooms admiring the female form don’t ever let him go to the beach or even watch Titanic.

If they’re concerned about inappropriate gambling and a lack of self-control perhaps a conversation about trust and finances should have taken place before the bachelor party stage was reached.

The same goes for excessive alcohol consumption. But if that’s something he’s into he isn’t going to limit himself to bachelor party occasions.

And if a woman is afraid her new husband is going to cheat on her during his bachelor party maybe they shouldn’t be getting married at all. Either he has given her a reason to be skeptical or there is a lack of trust in the relationship on her end.

That being said, Men’s Health magazine and Ontario, Canada-based clinical sexologist Dr. Carlen Costa says one-third of men cheat during bachelor parties. While the party may serve as a catalyst it’s a sign of much deeper-rooted issues.

There is nothing a groom could do at a bachelor party that he could not find the opportunity to do at another time and place.

Getting married again may bring up fears, old hurts or reservations from a previous marriage cut short.

A night off from responsibilities full of fun and friends may be more beneficial in the long run and help the wedding day go more smoothly with less backed up emotional turmoil.

A wedding experience and preamble shouldn’t only cater to the need and desires of the bride-to-be, it’s a union of two people in balance. Why deny the groom a party if he really wants one simply because he’s not a first-timer, based on arguments circumstantial at best?

Amelia Naismith is the new reporter for the Leduc/Wetaskiwin Pipestone Flyer and writes a regular column for the paper.

 

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